Tied Up in the Cell

We had free tickets for last night's Sox game vs. the Twins, so we took the El down to 35th Street to check it out. The sausages, as usual, were great. At the Ballpark Formerly Known as Comisky, you can get Brats with brown mustard, saurkraut, and grilled onions. The onions get a little soggy by the late innings, but if you get a brat in the 1st they've just started to carmelize . . . my mouth is literally watering as I write this. Anyway, the food's better on the South Side.

The baseball is actually a familiar flavor. A tense pitcher's dual, with a 1-1 tie persisting into extra innings. The Sox bullpen finally collapsed in the 11th, and the Southsiders got spanked 4-1. They left the bases loaded in the 9th and a man on 2nd in the 10th. Chicago baseball in all its glory.

But the fans? I just don't get it. The guys behind me started carping and demanding that Sox manager Ozzie Guillen be fired, after the first out. They screamed "You Suck!" and other obscenities at their own team. They had all but written off the game in the third inning, while it was still tied 0-0. After the Sox went up 1-0, they prayed for rain (and got it, although the game was never delayed).

Keep in mind, while the team has been sagging in recent weeks, they are still in first place. What are these people like when they're trailing? For some of these people, I think a record of 161-1 would not be good enough. "You suck, Guillen. How could you lose that game?"

Worst of all, a group of "fans" in front of me were training an 11 year old to scream along with them. So nice to see a community passing on its values to the next generation.

Sox fans like to mock Cubs fans as wine-drinking elitists who don't know anything about baseball. Guilty as charged, man. And as for the shirt being peddled on 35th Street proclaiming Wrigley Field to be the "World's Largest Outdoor Gay Bar," that's probably true, too. So what's you're point? I'm having fun at the ballpark. My girl, my beer, my brat, the first evening of Autumn and still not cold yet . . . if you're idea of fun is screaming obscenities at your own team, I feel sorry for you. As for the alleged rivalry, there is no rivalry. They envy us, because we know how to live.

Maybe I should have bought a T shirt.